I was going to title this: Friends With Benefits. Get your mind out of the gutter. There’s no sex involved here. Believe me, I’ve got a better chance of getting published. Probably because I want that more.
But shouldn’t all friendships have benefits? I know there’s a lot of different philosophies around the concept of friendship. For sucks fake, F***book has watered down the institution so much that it barely has any true meaning anymore. What I’m talking about here is real, life-defining friendship; the rarest of all vessels.
I could be a friend to you.
I’m not going to bore you with the details of what goes into being a good friend. Here’s what the internet says about it:
I just wanted you guys to know how important friendship is to me. It’s rare, fragile, and almost never in mint condition. The point is, if you’re at least thinking about how to be a good friend, you’re good, Friend.
I took out a lot of stuff ’cause I didn’t want to offend anyone and I respect the institution. If you want to discuss further, contact me offline. My heart, mind, and ears are always open. Until then; here. A list.
It’s the CLUNT system (unless you don’t want to Listen and see what you’re left with). Use it!
Terrible, I know. But hey…nope, I got nothing.
Now ____ off, I’m befriending a book.