LOL-lies (Or: Don’t Be a Sucker)

I’ve always wondered if people actually LOL every time they reply with LOL.  In my case, I rarely do, but I even rarelier (shut up) type LOL at all.  A friend of mine (MMM) assured me they LOL almost every time they use LOL as a response, but I think she’s the exception to the rule.  Where do you fall in this practice?  I thought so.  LOL.  And no, I didn’t just LOL.  Lies.

Wow, that didn’t take long.  Alright, I’ll address a couple other related topics; openness and honesty as habit, and emotion as creative fuel.

Openness and honesty are important to me.  You can use the LOL lie as a tie in.  I’m not going to send LOL if I’m not LOLing.  That would be a lie.  Am I always honest?  Honestly?  No.  Sometime the truth needs to be knocked the f*** out and locked in a closet.  But I strive to be honest whenever I can and feel really bad when I’m not.  Really, that shit tears me up.

Am I always open?  Hell no!  My mind is a dark, dangerous place.  I try to look for catharsis (RJT) through my writing.  But my life and mind are like an open books with several pages ripped out and burned.  My mind is (obviously) what cranks my creative turbine, but left to its own devices, it will eviscerate me.

But seriously, I try to make openness and honest the rule, not the exception.  Please call me on my shit if you catch me sliding.

The other LOL tie in?  Oh yeah, emotion.  I don’t laugh a lot, and as someone inquired (SLB), I don’t cry a lot…like at all.  It’s not for lack of effort.  I wish I could cry.  I’ve had plenty of reason to over the last…forever.  One thought that keeps going through my mind concerning this: I don’t cry because there’s no one around who cares.  Now that’s sad.  I know it’s false logic, but…I got nothing.

So, I think directly related, I don’t laugh a lot either.  I laugh more than I cry, which is never, but still rarelier (see above and shut up) than I should.  In any given moment, I don’t get too high, and I don’t get too low.  There are general mood swings of course, but I’ll address that at another time.

Isn’t this blog supposed to be about writing?  Put a friggin cork in it.  It is.  I channel my emotions through my writing.  I unleash some of my darkness on the page.  Writing is what keeps me sane, gives me hope, and helps me make sense out of this fleeting life.  Those who don’t understand that, don’t understand me.

Now carry on, somewhere else, I’m scheduling an appointment with a book.


3 thoughts on “LOL-lies (Or: Don’t Be a Sucker)

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